Cris Liggett (kusanobabe05) wrote,
Cris Liggett

Rainbow Ch. 9/?- Himawari (Sunflower)

Chapter title: Himawari (Sunflower)
Series Tile: Rainbow
Pairing: RyoPi
Fandom: NEWS
Notes: This is an angsty ryopi series written around ryopi solos and NEWS songs. Two best friends who share everything, separated when one finds himself trapped and alone because of his feelings. Who will make the first move? With the love one feels destroy their friendship or make it stronger?

Rainbow Ch. 8 ordinary

Yamapi lay on the grass near the river that flowed not far from their little apartment. He watched clouds that floated past; it was lonely at home without Ryo. Even the clouds seemed to be blowing towards where Ryo was…

The high clouds that hang in the blue sky
Always chase after you too

He ached for him. He wondered how Ryo ever managed to handle it without a word of complaint. He hoped Ryo knew somehow how much he loved him…his lover had seemed so sad and almost reluctant to live for the tour. He had pulled him into his arm and whispered that he would be here waiting for him…

I’m not beside you, but I’ll make this wish here
I wish that our days together never disappear

He watched a lone sunflower lifting its face to the sun needing its rays to survive. It reminded him of Ryo…Ryo seemed to always be in his shadow as if content to stay there. Ryo never tried to out do him and seemed embarrassed if he was complimented and tried to shrug it off. He remembered a comment Ryo made once. ‘I’m not the face of NEWS. That’s Yamapi. He certainly deserves it. We all look up to him….’ He tilted his head in thought, did Ryo really think of him as his sun? He wasn’t that special...he didn’t deserve that kind of affection. He couldn’t even tell Ryo out loud that he loved him. He worried that he might lose him if he never said that simple word. But he was too shy about his feelings and the words was never spoken except in his heart.

The sky past where the sunflowers are growing

He wondered if the pain would be less if he went to crash the concert. Yet he didn’t want to over shadow Kanjani8. They were amazing performers and if he showed up it would distract the audience from the real stars. He ached to hold him, see him, that adorable Kansai-ben accent he teased Ryo about would be so welcome now…

I wonder if I should fly off to where you are

He slowly stood and walked back to their silent apartment, his hand wanted to feel Ryo’s rough calloused but gentle hand in his. It felt so lonely not to feel Ryo beside him as he walked home.

Your small hand that I always held on the walk home

He smiled as he was greeted by a rather large adorable picture of them laughing. He remembered the day they took that. It had been a picture they hadn’t used in the last calendar but he had begged to have a copy. They had tripped and rolled down a hill laughing. Their faces were flushed as they lay near each other looking up at the sky. They had been yelled at for the grass stains but they hadn’t been able to do much but laugh.

Your sweet face laughing at the silliest little things

He remembered rather reluctantly one of their early fights when they were juniors. He had yelled, ‘I hate you! Why don’t you go back to Osaka.’ He hadn’t meant it. And when he calmed down he had hurried back to find Ryo in a corner sniffling as the younger boy tried to scrub away his tears. He had ran up and hugged him swearing he hadn’t meant it and please don’t go away. He swore he wouldn’t let go until Ryo promised to stay. Ryo had struggled for a bit before promising to stay and then yelled at him to let go so he could breathe.

At times I said words like “I hate you” that I didn’t really feel

He was still awkward about expressing his emotions especially his love for Ryo. He wasn’t ashamed of it…he was just…

Not that it mattered. Ryo seemed to know how he felt and accepted it. From the first nervous kiss to the last time they made love Ryo never fought him or begged him to stop. He kissed him back and seemed to beg for more…

That’s how awkward my feelings of love were
But you always accepted them

Just before Ryo’s concert tour with Kanjani8 they had escaped to the beach. It was a quiet one, still cold but they were alone. It was barely summer and was starting to get that warm feeling.

The sunflowers invite us with the scent of early summer
It passes over the beach

The sun had been bright but not really warm. Ryo had looked so good, his muscles rippling as he swam. He had swum beside him and kissed his neck, thinking how much he wanted him. Ryo had fought him off until he was sure they were going to drowned. Then Ryo relaxed and let him hold him close. They floated together as he kissed Ryo’s neck.

The sun shines almost too bright
Memories that float in the vast ocean

They had gone to Hawaii a few times yet someday he would like to go just the two of them. They would find someway to make it special…

On the other side of the sea we both saw
I wonder if we’ll go over to that side someday?

He lay in bed holding his phone toying with idea of calling Ryo just to hear his voice. Yet he didn’t want to keep him up late. His lover had performances tomorrow and had to be at the stadium early.

I can’t seem to sleep, there’s so much I want to tell you

He thought about what to say, that the summer flowers in the park they often walked together were bright and vibrant.

The park where we often stopped has begun to change color

He missed holding Ryo so much, he felt lonely and empty without him….

My left hand feels like it’s missing something as I take the same path home

His phone rang in his hand startling him. He stammered, “Moshi moshi…”

Ryo familiar voice said worried, “I didn’t wake you…”

He laughed, “No…I was just wondering it I should call you but I was afraid we would tak too long.”

He strained to hear Ryo’s reply, “We always talk when I’m touring with Kanjani 8.”

Ryo’s voice sounded upset, Yamapi ached to hold him more, “Sorry. I know I do…I just….” He should tell Ryo he missed him and he loved him but the words wouldn’t come. Ryo’s voice sounded lonely yet he didn’t hear his lover complain. He smiled and asked how the concert was going. Did the fans seem to enjoy it. He teased that maybe he should crash a concert. He heard silence and then a soft reply, “I’d like that…but I don’t think you should. You have things to do and I don’t want to mess up your schedule. I’ll be home soon.”

Yamapi sighed, “Okay. It’s been a while since I came to a Kanjani8 con. I thought it might be fun.” Plus…he really wanted to see him.

There was silence…then Ryo said reluctantly, “Well I should go. I have to be up early.” He whispered softly, “I just called because I wanted to hear your voice…”

If you can get over that loneliness
I am here right now

The emotional phone call last night made him wish all the more that he would just pick up and fly to one of the concerts. Yet he didn’t know if he should…he stood slightly miserable because of his own lack of resolve staring in the vague direction of Kanjani 8’s tour. He sighed, wanting to see Ryo so much. They had visited this place before. He could almost hear their younger selves here.

On the hill where our memories seemed able to reach the sky
We made a promise: “We’ll come here again”

As he turned to glance at the city below him, he saw only places they had gone together or had made plans to see.

The town which I look down on alone seems to fade
You are reflected frame by frame

Even the clouds seemed to race to Ryo’s side while he stood still.

The high clouds that hang in the blue sky
Always chase after you too

He whispered for Ryo to come home soon. That he would be waiting. He wanted to hold the other tight and not let go.

I’m not beside you, but I’ll make this wish here
I wish that our days together never disappear

Perhaps he should follow the sunflower’s example and follow Ryo. He really wanted to see him…so why was he still standing there?

The sky past where the sunflowers are growing
I wonder if I should fly off to where you are

Tags: kanjani8, member-ai, news, rainbow, ryopi

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