Cris Liggett (kusanobabe05) wrote,
Cris Liggett
kusanobabe05

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Death by strawberries

Title: Death by....Strawberries?
Pairing: Everyone versus Yamada; random pairings in the end?
Fandom: HSJ
Notes: JUMP torments Yamada to get him off his diet. Crack fic for rorychan because I fail...

Ryutaro had finally had enough of Yamada and his idiotic diet...it was just an excuse to get out of paying when it was his turn to buy JUMP dinner when they got out of work late. He was so not covering for Yamada and neither would anyone else if he had his way. He was going to make that childish brat so hungry...that he would say he was hungry and then Yamada would have to pay for them all. So while Yamada was busy with his solo shoots for Myojo he proposed his idea. "Yamada needs taught a lesson; that he can't use a fictitious diet to avoid responsiblity as a JUMP member. Yabu decided that we had to rotate who pays when we work late. It's Yamada's turn and he's trying to get out of it."

Yuto shook his head, "He really thinks he's fat...but he isn't really. He always goes on diets...and then he does things like pig out on chocolate fountains which makes him forget he was on a diet for about six months." Ryutaro was mistaken...

Hikaru smirked from the corner where he was beating Inoo at Jankenpon, "So it's a prank..."

Inoo raised an eyebrow, "Pranks are fun...."

Yabu snored loudly which woke Takaki...

Takaki blinked, "Prank? Prank who..."

Ryutaro rolled his eyes, "Yamada of course..." he wasn't in the mood to reexplain his plan...

Chii yawned, "It better be interesting..."

Ryutaro leaned closer to his friend, "It is...we all bring in Strawberry things...that will make Yamada so hungry that he...gives in...then he has to take us to all you can eat barbecue."

Inoo licked his lips, "Great idea..." in Inoo's opinion, any idea that involved food was a good idea...

Keito chuckled, "If participating means food I'm in."

Daiki shrugged, "I guess I'm in...I'm bored anyway..."

Hikaru fill Yabu in later...or someone else in best would.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chinen was checking out the pantry to see what strawberry thing he could make...

He spotted a box of strawberry cake mix and a container of cream cheese frosting.

He smirked, "That should do it..." if mom complained later he'd replace them...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hikaru and Ryutaro had run into each other at a specialty store that specialized in unique bathroom goods.

Hikaru raised an eyebrow, "I see we had the same thought..."

Ryutaro glared, "I had it first..." of course he had it was his plan to begin with.

Hikaru spotted strawberry scented shower curtains, "Those are so mine..."

Ryutaro looked around some more before deciding on Strawberry scented toilet tissue, now that should cause a reaction of some sort. He purchased enough for the bathroom in 7's dressing room.

Hikaru bought like three shower curtains for 7's dressing room, now these should tickle that boy's nose...
~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone showed up early with their strawberry things...

Daiki had brought strawberry-lime soda but he had accidentally drank the entire 12-pack; so he set the box of empty soda cans on the table in 7's dressing room.

Yuto peeked in the box, "Daiki...you drank them all...why in the world did you get soda..."

Daiki pouted, "I was thirsty..."

Yuto opened the door of the small fridge Ryutaro bought and put his strawberry mochis inside, "At least I didn't eat any..."

Keito walked in eating from the large flat of strawberries in his hand, "What's wrong with eating some if you buy enough..."

Yuto rolled his eyes, "I think you are missing the point..." JUMP was so weird sometimes...He nearly choked when Ryutaro walked in wheeling a giant toilet paper tube.

Ryutaro smirked, "I thought my strawberry scented toliet paper needed something to make it more interesting...so I made Shin-chan a roll of toilet paper..."

Yuto face-palmed, "You're all nuts..."

Chii walked in with a cake box, "Tada...strawberry cake..." he noticed the drooling jump members and random junior, "Not for you....yet....maybe..."

Takaki walked in, with something sticking out of his pocket...

Chii glanced down, "Takaki those aren't...."

Takaki grinned, "The thong Yabu bought me for Christmas? Yes it is...it has strawberries..."

Ryutaro rolled his eyes, "BEST doesn't have sleepovers...they have orgies..."

Daiki choked, "We what..."

Yabu walked in with Hikaru as Ryutaro pushed a protesting Shintaro into the bathroom.

Hikaru went to replace the shower curtains temporarily....

Yabu dropped a handful of strawberry scented and flavored condoms on the table near Chii's cake, "That's my contribution..." it was the only strawberry thing he had...

Yuto glanced at his leader, "Are you crazy...that won't do anything except make Yama-chan run...fast..."

Yabu shrugged, "It was the only strawberry thing I had..." he had barely remembered anyway...

Hikaru came back into 7's dressing room from their bathroom with Ryutaro, "All set in there..." he had conned a staff-san to replace all the toiletries like soap and shampoo with strawberry scented things. Poor Yamada wouldn't know what hit him, the staff-san had even put in a strawberry scented oil plug-in...it smell of strawberries...

Ryutaro curled up in a chair, "Now...we wait...and BEST should go away for a while...so he won't be as suspicious..."

Takaki tossed his tong on top of Chii's bag, "I'll just leave it in plain sight..."

Chii whined, "Ewww....why don't you just wear it..."

Takaki smirked, "Then it won't have the same impact...I can come back for them..."

Chii pouted, this was getting ridiculous...

BEST barely managed to escape and close the door to their dressing room in time for Yamada to arrive.

Yamada had only snacked for lunch, just a small melon bread...he wasn't hungry...really he wasn't...

That was before his nose was assaulted by strawberry....

He opened the dressing room door and almost passed out....his eyes scanned the room...

There was an open case of strawberry-lime soda...

What looked like a cake....

Were those condoms on the table? What was Yabu teaching 7? He shook slightly, this was ridiculous...

Then he spotted a thong with strawberries on it, lying on Chii's bag. He coughed nervously, "Umm...Chii...was BEST doing naughty things in here when you arrived? Because I think...Takaki forgot something..."

Takaki popped his head in, "Chii...have you seen my...oh hi Yama-chan...I think I left my thong in here."

Yabu followed pouting, "You don't seem very grateful for my presents when you leave them places..."

Takaki pouted, "I dressed in a hurry...you left other things in here..."

Chii escaped to the bathroom to keep from laughing, he came back sniffing his hands, "The soap smells good...like strawberries..."

Yamada choked, strawberries everywhere?

Yuto grabbed two mochis, "Keito...I'll trade you a mochi for strawberries..."

Strawberry soda? Strawberry soap? Strawberry mochi? A flat of strawberries? Strawberry underwear? Condoms? Was there a theme here? Poor Yamada...his stomach started to growl...and it was loud...

Ryutaro smirked, "Someone is hungry..."

"No I'm not..."

Inoo laughed, "Yama-chan, Keito and I are always hungry..."

Yuto pouted, "What about me..."

Inoo smirked, "Not as hungry as we usually are..."

Yamada glared, "I am not hungry...I'm on a diet..."

Chii opened the cake box and the room smelled like strawberries again, "Anyone want some of Yama-chan's cake..."

Yamada blinked, "My cake? Since when...."

Chii shrugged, "Since I baked it..."

Yamada backed up, "I didn't ask for cake....and I'm not hungry..." but his mouth was watering and he was eying everything hungrily...

Yuto nibbled his mochi, "Mmm..."

Yamada bit his lip, why did his best friend have to tease him like that? A little strawberry ice cream slid down Yuto's chin, he he reached over to wipe it off with his thumb and then licked it. He moaned, "So good..." he was really, really hungry...

Yuto held out a mochi, "You want one..."

Yamada grabbed it before Yuto decided to keep it, "Yes..." he smashed it a little and ice cream ran down his fingers.

They all laughed...

Keito moved closer with his flat of strawberries, "You want some..." he held the box under the boy's nose.

Yamada grabbed a handful and began to eat them...

The others began eating the strawberry things before Yamada ate everything...

After work Yamada sagged in a chair, "I'm hungry...." he was...even after all those snacks...

Ryutaro smirked, "You are? Well...there is this great all you can eat barbecue place nearby..."

Yamada grinned, "That sounds great..."

Yuto rolled his eyes slightly but he was hungry...

Yabu yelled, "Meat..."

BEST groaned, "We know..."

7 rolled their eyes, leader was...obsessed with meat...

Ryutaro led the way to the restaurant...

Ryutaro pushed Yamada to the front of the group, he smirked, "Dinner for ten...and he's buying..."

Yamada yelped, "Since when..."

Ryutaro shrugged, "Since its your turn. Just because you've ducked the last nine invitations doesn't get you exempt from your turn."

Yamada growled as he paid for JUMP...

The other nine skipped off to dump their bags at a table for 20 before darting off to fill their plates...

Yamada followed behind them, his diet was so ruined...

Chii and Yuto paused to pinch his cheek and whisper, "You don't need to diet...you're hot just the way you are..."

Yamada yelped, "Yu..." he wasn't sure who he was more embarrassed more about hearing that from...

Keito came by with two plates full of food, "You know..you are the best looking...if you loose anymore weight...you won't look so hot when you strip..."

Yamada nearly dropped his plate, what? Keito was flirting with him?

Takaki ruffled his hair, "I miss the cuddly Yama-chan...you don't look so comfy to hug..."

Yamada sat near the end of the table but next to Takaki and started to eat, they were all weird...

Ryutaro pinched Chii's ass, "You weren't flirting with Yamada were you..."

Chii pouted, "Of course not....I just told him...he should forget about dieting..."

Takaki leaned over to whisper his hand resting on Yamada's thigh, "Are you going to keep avoiding me..."

Yamada glanced at him, he mumbled, "Yes...if you are going to keep messing around with BEST. I don't want to be a toy...or a pet..." he wanted to be special...he wasn't happy about Takaki the playboy claiming to be in love with him while engaging in BEST orgies...

Yuto winked at Keito, they'd taken bets to see how long that would take...

Takaki sighed, "I wasn't doing anything naughty earlier, I left those on purpose..." Yabu's condoms weren't helpful...

Yamada tried to ignore the warm hand on his thigh, "Why should I believe you..."

Takaki smiled, "Because...I think you are the most beautiful person here..."

Yamada snorted, "I'm not beautiful...I'm fat..."

Takaki shook his head, "You aren't...you're perfect...." he was taller and heavier but it didn't matter...Yamada Ryosuke was the most beautiful person he'd ever known...

Yamada rolled his eyes, "I still don't trust you..."

Takaki leaned over and kissed him, "Now do you trust me..."

Yamada blushed madly, trying to push him away...

The rest of JUMP laughed, "About time..."

Yabu-papa and Hika-mama grinned...

Daiki and Inoo high fived each other, "I knew it..."

Yamada lowered his eyes, "Shut up..." maybe his diet was a bad idea if it made everyone worry...

Ryutaro smirked and got poked, his plan worked...
Tags: chiitaro, crack, fluff, hs7, hsb, hsj, random, takayama
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